When you see a possible Infinity War spoiler that you pretty much had figured that this is the way…

When you see a possible Infinity War spoiler that you pretty much had figured that this is the way it would go…..

But still it punches you in the gut 🙁

Cap apologized with his letter. You need to let it go.

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First, I actually don’t ‘have’ to do anything.

Second and onward:

*For a letter supposedly apologizing to another person, Rogers uses the word ‘I’ over fifteen times and on ten of those times he is referring to what he wants and doesn’t address Tony’s needs at all.

*He (Rogers) makes a point of stressing that he has been on his own since he was eighteen and blithely ignores the fact that because of the Winter Soldier, Tony has also been alone.

*Rogers casually tosses the Avengers at Tony like a consolation prize. A ‘hey, so my best friend? Um, while he was brainwashed, he murdered your parents and I’ve known about it for a couple of years now but didn’t have the balls to tell you so here, have some Avengers.’ Then Rogers takes said Avengers and fucks off to Wakanda.

*’I don’t like you rattling around in a mansion by yourself’.  Again with the ‘I’. Heaven forbid that Tony, newly grieving after seeing his mother, his fucking mother, being choked out might want to go back to the last place he was with her. That Tony might want to surround himself in memories, possibly wrap himself up in a soft, warm throw that laid on his mother’s bed. Maybe even sit, curled in on himself in what was his mother’s closet, breathe in the memory of her scent and just cry.

*(paraphrasing)…’My faith is in people….which is why I can’t let them down either’. But it’s okay to let Tony down, yes? It’s okay to drop the man who gave him a home, who gave him a family, a direction, who paid for all his shit? It’s okay to let him down. People on this site make a huge deal about how Tony pays for all the Avengers tech, for their home, for their food and that is true, Tony is the accounts guy. However, what about the emotional account? Rogers and Tony have fought together for years by now. They have trusted each other in battle to not let each other die. They have bled on each other. The trust that forms through that is huge. The blow Tony took when Rogers said ‘he’s my friend’ was vast. In one sentence Rogers wiped out years of trust and love. The emotional fallout from that will underscore every conversation, every look, every word they ever speak to each other from here on out. But, Rogers can’t let anyone down right? 

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*Finally, let’s address the actual, and sole, ‘I’m sorry’ in this letter. Yes, Rogers says he’s ‘sorry’ but what is he actually sorry for? Is he sorry for leaving Tony behind in Siberia? Is he sorry for beating a civilian bloody? (because it is stated very explicitly in this movie that Tony is a civilian and not an Avenger). Is he sorry for breaking the absolute military code of never leaving a man behind? Is he offering condolences on Tony having to witness his parents murder? (I cannot stress this enough. Tony Stark, in a sterile and hostile environment had to watch his father be beaten to death and his mother being strangled as she cried out for help while he stood in between their murderer and a man who Tony saw as a brother. A man who lied to him twice. Once by withholding the information and finally again when Tony outright asks if he knew). Is Rogers saying ‘sorry’ for any of that? No. Rogers is ‘sorry’ for ‘sparing himself’. That is no apology. That is an excuse.

Every last thing in this letter is Rogers easing his conscience. There is no apology here. There is no empathy. No concern for a family member or friend or hell, even a co-worker. This letter is a selfish act of atonement. It is a footnote to a long list of selfish acts committed by Captain America in this movie.

Roger’s  letter to Tony is no ‘apology’. 

It is metaphorical blood spilled as ink on the canvas of a man’s soul.

This letter is a written death sentence on a family. On a friendship. On a brother. 

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~west